no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
