You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You smell like stripper and shame
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
