Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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