no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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