I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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