i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
We need to get me chipped asap
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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