Im at strip club and am horny
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
birth control should be required to get into college
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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