He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
