so that wasnt chicken after all
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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