i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
