You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Randomize
