if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
