Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
