My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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