I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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