you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
