did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
