he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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