it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
