Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
