I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
