Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
