I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Randomize
