You're completely useless in the revolution.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
