Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize