worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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