Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
