About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
