its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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