If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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