How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
