She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
