4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
