Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
