So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
