Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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