my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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