I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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