never play flip cup with pint glasses
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
