and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
