I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
