trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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