I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
