If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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