If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
