either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
