Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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