I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
