Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
