I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
