I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
