I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
