mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
