He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
