Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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