oh god the rape fog is back!
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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