remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
