Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
